Sacrifice and reward

Have been thinking through this week of what Pastor Daniel shared last week for service. Sacrifice. Just wondering how much am I giving up or how much am I willing to give up for God. I mean we all sacrifice stuff for various reasons and well how much of that percentage is given up for God? And well I do believe that what we sacrifice up to God, He will use it for His own plans and purposes and He will not short change us but rather bless us more and more.

Even for me I have been trying to put church business first and trying my best to make God the focus of my life. I know that it is hard to do so but we are all not perfect and well for me as a Christian I want to strive to be more and more like God. Well besides that I have always been blessed by God. As I set aside time and give up some other opportunities to do God’s work He has always saw me through anything I may have trouble in from moving house, NS enlistment date, PP and others. And well the challenge for the rest of the year that Joseph challenged me and I want to challenge myself as well is to bring someone to Christ by the end of the year…

Just a quick update on life this week breaking alot of records of my own and of Drama…finishe rigging and focus in 1 day plaooting in 1 1/2 days and doing a full run, tech run, lights and sound adjustments in one day today is show day and sets still not finished yet wow! the roller not setup and the curtain is not setup…God bless us and I am sure He will. 2 ful houses and I can say drama will continue to do well next yr i hope…

Developments

These few days have been running about to and fro from church to school and from school to SJSM for rehearsal, rehearsals and hte ever so important publicity for camp…it has been a heck of a mess balancing time and energy to be here and then there, and this period has got me thinking what is more important to me…God’s work or personal satisfaction and fun. Do I choose to stay for CF and stuff even though I have production matters from 4.30pm until 9pm everyweekday?Do I choose to come late due to publicity for camp and although I don’t do much physically I will try to help talk to people if approached and I will be there for technical support so will I abandon my drama for this? And the answer is YES. I feel that it is worth more to me to serve a cause which will save people’s lives rather than one that keeps myself happy.

Anyway, I guess it is semi-confirmed that I have a place to move to, Woodlands Drive 13 and well according to the agents we will be able to get the keys the end of this month. And well on the same day, I got my NS enlistment, 4th Jan 2010. Thank Godthat I am able to see through all the projects I have committed myself to. Well all I can say is GOD IS GOOD! No matter in what circumstances no matter in what situations although things ma seem bleak, He will always provide that glimmer of hope and I thank God for giving me that hope…

Faith wonderful faith

The wonders what you can achieve with faith and prayer. Yay testimon time…thanks for the encouragement and all when I was sick and well 3 days ago had a temp of 37.9 at night and the next day it was ok at 36.8 until i came back it went up again and well rested for the sunday and now 36.5. Of course there is the prayers and the faith that I will be better soon and also thanks for the others that prayed for me I can safewly say that I have recovered 50% now it is just the cough and runny nose… but thanks for the prayers.

But so far for these past 19 years in m life i have found one thing to be true as long as i belive that God can make it happen it happened. I prayed once that my dad would go to church and for that period of time they went to Church of Singapore. When I was worried about my studies and uncertain of things I prayed and well I have graduated with my dip coming in May. Well for the road ahead I know I will be facing many trials and road blocks. And well I have the comfort that God will always be faithful to bring me through it and well even thoug there are time when I do not feel Him there and well I have felt that before at different stages in my life but well He has been holding me in His arms this whole time and never letting go. Other than that I have many good brothers and sisters giving my encouragement and caring for me too. So well I can say that I will go through this journey not alone but with support and I will give my suport to those who need it as well…

Waves

Ok today was thinking and had a sort of a revelation. We are like waves, being led by the wind (God’s guidance) and well at first we obediently follow wherever the wind takes us. When the wind gets stronger and tries to lead us to things we may not like, we may struggle but after some coaxing we may quieten down and accept where the wind takes us. But when the wind blows up a storm with the rain and everything else flowing against us and at times even the wind is going against us. Are we going to take control or still let the wind lead us? Do we turn the other way or continue on the path that was before us to the shore? Some of us may stay strong and maybe end up as tsunamis, big waves or small waves and well some others may just revert back to normal drifting as part of the ocean currents. So though we are reated by God and we know that God is with us all the time and that His ways are right why do we still insist on having our way and doubting His presence and love for us? Just a thought to think about

And I also just want to thank God for letting me graduate officially stated in the website will be collecting dip in May…haiz long time…now just waiting for the enlistment date quite eagerly in fact so that I can confirm the dates that I am available for the end of the year event. And besides that thinking about Uni La Salle seems like the cheapest choice right now so maybe there…And well this wave has passed and the next wave of life will be starting soon…

Where? What?

I’ve just been looking through my calendat and most of the things written on it has been meetings – personal meetings as in outing s with friends, meet up to help this and that discuss things and well listening to various people and what they have to say or what they want to do. I just got to ask myself where am I? And what is my motivation? Firstly I am interacting with a group of secondary school people whose motivations are studying and scoring well for exams as well as friendships. Another group is my poly friends they’re goal is to earn money and keep in contact with friends. And well for the official meetings that I have like drama and CF, their goals and motives are to grow the respective groups theya re planning for. As for twhere they are different people have different levels from people who are spiritually high to those whoare more concerned of their aestatic appearance to those who have not been to places and those who go all over. From close friends to quite distant people that are being roped back. From stumbling starts and great future to wonderful start and crumbling finish. I wonder where am I in relation to all these as well as where am I myself? Am I distancing myself from others? or from various groups of people or am I getting too acquainted with people since I am usually meeting up and organizing these meetings am I getting too acquainted that I forget their problems or brush them away? What is my motive for meeting up with them for fun only or to show them God’s love or both. Am I speaking into people’s lives be it through actions or words? And in my life did I have a rough start and am I maskoing the right turns along this long road and will I end up well?

but reflecting back I have beem taking an interest in trying to help the younger ones grow but am I showing the right example? I am also trying to pull people back and invite people but am I too passive or too aggressive? According the ladies I hang out with they say I make good or best friend material so am I using that to my advantage and show them what God’s love is or am I conforming to the ways of the world and following their lifestyle? And well these few days have been asked what are your plans after NS? I wonder what should i do…if I do get into MDC should I sign on or even is there a sign on? If not how do I get money to sudy in HK or La Salle or Canada or Aust or Guildhall and can I be accepted in? And most importantly can I find a job cause seriously there is nothing for me to fall back on if I do not earn enough from the Arts.

And from being in LOC and serving these few years I have found where I am meant to serve and I thank God for that. Just to voice out here and see if anyone who reads and knows me has any comments. I can do organizing and planning, admin if it is needed and of course media and publicity videos, drama, tech and sound, photos and montage but not creation and print ads. So yea I have found these to be ther areas I have been serving but now I feel taht it is time to expnd that. Learn to take people under my wing and grow them to be more like Christ be it in sharing in a group or one on one. I have also learnt that I am a micro manageer not a macro manager and a avid nay sayer if I must say so myself but well God will use me that I know but how I dunno I just have to wait, be faithful in the little that He has given me and when He sees fit He will add more for me to do. Amen. God Help[ me to grow in You and help me to keep my eyes, ears and heart open to Your call as well askeep my hands ready to do Your work.

Different times

Was just thinking through just now cuz last week ding had a meet up with Stephen and gang and next thur hving a meet up with Shannah so was thinking back about my spiritual life then, and must say that yes I did have Spiritual feeding then wit Paul, Cell and stuff but since there were differernt times in which people slowly left for personal reasons I have moved from having feeding to having more intimate friendships and my growth took a slower turn. Sure there was Pastor John, Uncle Stephen to teach and guide but I do not think I grew as much as compared to the time when we had book studies on Romans, James and Hebrews with Paul or the discussions on Revelation with Eva or stuff. But nonetheless I want to say a Big thank you to all the CCW members, from the time we started out in CHR with Esther Ong all the way to it’s merging with LOC and the last teacher I had Stephen. I have learnt much and I thank God also for the merger as I am learning and maturing at a different stage with different people guiding and leading me along. As the times changed, so have the peopls but one thing has not changed,, the fact that I am still constantly being moulded by God and learning new things everyday. Now with the chance of leading Bible study, doing follow up, leading this and that taking an active role in various things I feel that God is using this as a major stage of growth into adulthood, handling more responsibilities and stuff. Knowing various people has grown me in various ways and handling various situations has opened my eyes to the world around and well thank God for the good and the bad situations.

On another note have been reading Kin Peng and Christina’s blogs and both gives me different aspects of Christian living that I myself need to work on. Even Jin wan’s tweets has something that I have to learn from. so basically 3 lessons. 1) Compassion, having the eyes and heart of God. 2) Faith, being able to trust God in all circumstances. I mean although I have not gone through such situations in life yet but when the time comes will I be able to stand firm in the faith if God calls me to go will I really do it? Child Like Faith… and 3) Joy and praise most of the times I feel life has been boring the same old same old but well even the littlest of things can come from god and well if we are faithful in the small God will give us more. and I feel the same way for blessings if we give thanks and notice the small blessings and who God is He will slowly but surely reveal more and more facets to HIm. Like a million or even trillion faceted diamond I am maybe loking at 5-10 facets now with countless more facets to see and understand and slowly get to know. And before I forget I also want to thank y mon and my aunt for their undying nagging and in a sense subtle teachings about Chrisitian living.

And just a short update on my life now for those interested to know, been doing A LOT of meet ups and I do mean alot. from drama members both ex and current ex for fun and catch up and current to help them, to CF, hopefully I can help out as much as possible and see it through my 8th year before going into NS. Then meeting up with church members life ZT, and hopefully will get to organize a meeting with Joshua and Kelvin and Bryan over dinner or something., and meeting up with Edmund and for most if not 3/4 of the meetings/meet ups I am either the one organizing it or coordinating it as in where and when to meet and smsing ppl to confirm things and well I guess it is becoming kind of a forte for me and patience is grown due to lateness of people and stuff and I thank God for growing me in organizational skils and my patience.

Growth and Maturity

I have a strong believe that not is the time of growth. From what I be getting from sermons and prayer meetings and various other places. I see that now is the time for growth and a time to take that step forward to be more and more involved in the things you are called to be it in your job, school, spiritual life or even in family and friends. Take the first step to grow relationships, organize meetings to bond with people and don’t only stick with Christian brothers and sisters, make a date with cousins, brothers and sisters and friends that are non believers and build that relationship with them and also show them the love of Christ through being a friend and caring be different from them but still immerse in their world but do not succumb to it.

At the same time now is the time for students to have their short break but use it wisely, revise and try your best to excel in your studies, in your free time continue to seek God’s face and His will in your life ask Him to guide ou and strengthen your relationship in Him. Take steps to grow, be it reading God’s Word, practicing guitar for worship listening and praying whatever it is God is calling you to do. To not sound too Christiany, Use your time wisely in this holiday period read up on upcoming chapters of lessons to come practice on ubjects that are not that good, find ways to grow yourself as a person, be it helping our parents, organizing study groups or what nots.

For those at work, I do not have much right to say anything since I have not worked before but well. from what I see on TV which i think may depict some parts of real life. I remember a verse in the Bible as far as you are concern make peace with people or something like that. ASo yea, love your neighbors as yourself, and show kindness to your enemies. If someone sabotages your work praise God that you have a chance to show love to this perosn and find joy in whatever you do sacrifices comes naturally to everyone knowingly, or unknowingly. so do not be afriad to spend some extra time, effort, money even at things building relationships at work and establishing yourslef as a competent worker.

I believe that at this time whether you are a believer or a non-believer, God is going to start a work in your life. a slow but steady work. The seed is going in and is taking root it may be painful and uncomfortable as the roots of that seed grow and take over some spaces in your life, breaking away some habits that are unwholesome, draining the water that is inside and so we need to also water it ourselves daily throuh doing thihngs that would please God, that would build us up to be a righteous person, not only through spiritual things but showing love, tolerance, kindness, lending a helpiung hand and being generous. Giving and sacrificing what you have and God will bless ou in return. as you do you will slowly see the shoot and then a leaf slowly breaking out and with constant nurturing of the seed God has planted it will bear fruit. Live righteously and continue to seek God in all that you do.

Ok just a random thought that popped into my head just now and with some thinking and reflecting so yea. Grow and step up to greater maturity and be fruitful in your lives people.

Words

Have been pondering…is there a need to demean people by the words we use, for example the words F**k or S**t or Ba***rd or B**ch or even the hokkien swear words, or even the simplest of calling others Stu**d or F**l or Id**t. What do we gain from saying or aiming these words at others do we get a sense of satisfaction to see other people get wounded or offended by the words you use? Or has it become so much of a habit to a person that the severity of the words has been diminished? Will there be a better future for society? Looking at the cinemas, NC 16 allows swearing at every scene or soemthing like that together with partial nudity, exposed till the breasts of ladies and sexual acts like foreplay and M18 allows full nudity and sexual acts except the actual act of sexual intercourse and a chain of swear words in every scene if need be, so what is left for R21? the actual sexual acts, severe swearing? How far is society willing to open itself to being bombarded and downgraded to a state in which I would say that animals are more well mannered than us. Will we degenerate to sucha state? I wonder…

Where have our social morals gone? Even from the short time or a decade the use or vulgarities and swearing has escalated to a high, even primary school students are using these words and doing these actions like it is part and parcel of everyday life. I wonder will it come a time where kindergarten students will be using these profanities maybe in a decade or so? I’m not saying this just becaue I am a Christian, sure that is one of the reasons and I feel uncomfortable but think about it as a society as a group of people wil we progress anywhere by using swear words and vulgar actions? As if it is nothing to be bothered about! What kind of example are we going to give to our younger siblings, cousins, nephews, nieces, and even uor sons and daughters and grandvchildren in the future.This is our legacy a loose and open society which allows and accpets profanity, vulgarity, swearing, indecency…What will we become think about it…

stable

OK still need to look for a place to rent by november but I trust that God will provide…

Was thinking nothing has been happening much in my life for these few weeks I thank God for the opportunity to help out in the Spirits Play and Creative labs but I do hope Helmi can pass me my $90 and a referral Letter for keeps sake and for use in the future. But other than that things has been rather stable, stagnent, in a sense plateauing in a sense it is good but as commonly said by my pastors and mentors, if life is quiet it may not be good if life is full of ups and downs God is working so I am not sure if it is good or bad…

But anyway, these few days or rather the past few weeks, I have been recalling on God’s blessings on my life in everything I’ve done, God has seen me through it and I greatly thank God taht He has not failed me. Although these things may not be grand and big scaled events in my life but it goes to show that God is also conerned about my everyday life and that nothing is too small for Him. Even for my PP I left my posters which i just printed at macs and the presentation is on the next day. And when I got into the MRT station I realized it was missing and thank God that my posters were still around when I went back I mean the cleaners could have gone and throw it away or the people who sat at that table could have destroyed it but no it was left open but in good condition and thank God for that and after checking I found some mistakes but thank God the assessors did not say anything or down grade me because of that and well my report was not submitted until a day after the presentation and now I passed my PP thank God! So it is evident that God is working in my life and holding me through every way. And well although I sometimes doubt my place in Christ or my relationship or my worth in being a Xhristian or whether I am truely one or doubt my relationship with God, but it is when I reflect on these small little things that God has done for me that I remember that He still cares for me…so thank God!

going once…going twice…sold…!!!

Ok for the past few months my mom has been wanting to sell the house and move house for getting extra cash and to downsize to lessen the load on herself, soyea we finally sold the flat on Thurs and now looking for a place to move to, my mum saw a place at jurong west and going down to see the area on mon and if it is nice would move in around november. Its not a bad place, direct bus to town and direct bus to woodlands and near shopping centre as well as MRT and stuff so yea seems good but well was reminded to pray about choices today, so yea asked Whan Lee to help me to pray and willa lso be praying myself…Lord if this is Your will for my family to move there Lord, You open the doors, if not, Lord, You close the door and open another one, Lord give me a place to stay in which I can travel to the places You want me to impact easily.

Anyway packed week ahead and just finished a packed week. Next week will be bz but oni in the evening from 5 onwards for most of the days so yea hv some time to rest and freshen up getting back the energy that was spent these few weeks…and well since I have already passed my PP just need to wait for my Dip and the dreaded NS Enlistment letter date. Sadly as what Kok wonders, how can I survive NS life and I wonder that as well but well I do need to get through this and well the earlier the better… so yea wait and see how God will bring me through…