I suddenly feel a great sense of detachment in all the places I am in. As though I am there but not there. I can talk to people and still feel that they do not care and find me an extra person in the group. I think some times it is good to live as a separate entity. But it may be just me thinking too deep into the situation and into other people’s mindsets. But well I can’t shake this feeling that I am not wanted anymore. Maybe I have been too much of an irritation so much so that they cannot stand me anymore.
I feel taht I am just drifting around without any purpose without any belonging.I know that I do belong to the large community but I do feel that sometimes I do not belong to the smaller groups that I am in…am I being too pessimistic? or thinking too much? I wonder if there is a chance that this is true well like I’ll ever know…
Like yesterday in the cohesion I was mostly walking alone and not relating to others until lunch and now I am sitting a side on the train, in my outing groups I do sometimes feel left out but well I guess it is all part of life…the feeling is at least. but I know for sure god has not allowed for me to be isolated but instead He would want me to immerse in with the people I am in contact with but it is hard for me being quiet and all yea but well I guess I will try…
